Humorous Wedding Roast of the Groom :: Wedding Toasts Roasts Speeches

Humorous Wedding Speech about the GroomGood afternoon, ladies and gentlemen. in the first place starting the one speech that I know youve all been waiting for, Id like to thank both Steve and Marcus my two support acts. And Id also like to thank Marcus in particular, for hosting what so far has been an absolutely fantastic wedding. It cant have been easy watching your totally daughter marry someone like Steve. In particular, I can only imagine what it might have been like - perhaps a akin(predicate) feeling to realizing that youve just trodden in some fresh dog mess, only 100 times worse? But Marcus, if I may call you that, youve conducted yourself with bully dignity and composure today, and I think we should all take inspiration from you particularly when we next have a mishap on the pavement. And talking of mishaps on pavements, it was 17 years ago this very year that I trod on Steve sorry, I mean that I met Steve - one September morning, both of us walk to our first day a t St Josephs Secondary. And I feel the things Ive witnessed over the last 17 years give me a certain warrant today to remind Marcus, and to tell those of you who dont know Steve, quite what Aimees got herself into. Now, I can see Steve beginning to look uncomfortable and, butt end that sweet smile, Aimee is clearly furious. And its fair enough, because they did make it very plain to me that today was a family occasion. But its also tough, because this is too good an prospect to miss. That said, they shouldnt really worry because Steves never been much of a rebel. In fact, at school he was quite a goody-two-shoe if you ignored the fact that through the fourth and fifth year he used his changing room locker to run a profitable lending library of fully grown magazines. Let me tell you, when word got labialise that the Porn Prince had some new stock in, there would be a queue half way round the block. Or so I heard. But he did ask me not to go into that today, because its somethin g hes never told Aimee, so I wont. And in fairness to Steve, he was actually a keen student who always wanted to put forward his opinions and he would have done considerably if the examination board had only agreed with just a few more of them.